Why Should Anger Get The Better Of You?

//Why Should Anger Get The Better Of You?

Why Should Anger Get The Better Of You?

Angry woman with smoke coming from ears.

Anger Management in DFW, Court Mandated Anger Course in Collin County and Dallas County

By Dr. Dean Aslinia

Anger is a highly intense and often momentary emotional response.  This secondary emotion often develops towards people or situations when they don’t tend to conform to our expectations. More or less all of us have experienced those sudden fits of annoyance when a machine stops working at the wrong moment or say, a friend cancels plans last minute. Now granted some people are perennially hotheaded, flaring up at the slightest provocation. But even if that’s not who you are, you still have expectations of how you’d like to be treated, addressed, or communicated to. Expressions of anger can often take varied forms, ranging from a low key grumbling to explosive outrage, and there are different techniques to cope with each.

Anger is not completely a negative emotion, like it’s preached to be, nor is its expression always condemnable. You are as much entitled to be angry as you are to feel any other normal human emotion like happiness or anxiety.  In fact, expression of assertive anger to a certain degree is healthy and even necessary for your own peace of mind. It is when you make your needs and concerns clear in front of others, thereby ensuring that the same event which triggered your anger doesn’t repeat itself. Unbridled rage or fury, however, can have adverse effects both on your professional life as well as your personal relationships.

Anger is not just a state of mind; it is very much a physiological phenomenon as well. When your temper goes out of control, it is accompanied by certain physiological changes such as an increase in heart rate, blood pressure and levels of adrenalin and noradrenalin hormones. Thus, too much of anger can effect you physically, besides tampering with your mental well being.

Anger management therapies rely on a number of relaxation techniques to keep your temper in check. Regular meditation and yoga can help in calming the mind so that it does not get triggered easily. Also, when you feel like you’re losing your cool, try deep breathing or chanting relaxing words. When you breathe from the diaphragm, your attention is diverted from the crisis situation and instead focused on the process of inhalation and exhalation. Thus it helps to release the tension and stress.

Some people use humor as a defence mechanism to hide feelings of hurt or anguish. Well, you can do the same to take your mind off things that make you angry. Crack lame jokes wherever possible. Chances are good that after some time you’ll be able to see how utterly insignificant the things that were about to drive you crazy, had been. However, this does not mean you can laugh off everything. There will be serious problems in life where humor won’t and probably shouldn’t work. For such situations, you have other techniques.

Refrain from making decisions while you’re angry. Anger is quite an overwhelming emotion that causes you to lose your rationality temporarily.  You cannot think straight and tend to jump to conclusions that are often inaccurate. When such a situation arises, wait until your rage has subsided before making an important decision. Also, after you have calmed down, try to objectively judge the situation as well as your reaction to it. In case of violent fights or brawls, always ask for forgiveness from the person at the other end, even if it was not initiated by you. Sometimes, a simple act of apologizing can be enough for preventing damage to relationships.

If none of these help, consider taking help from a counselor, therapist, or psychotherapist. Remember that while excessive outbursts of anger can be harmful, complete suppression isn’t particularly desirable either. If you keep denying yourself opportunities for venting your pent up frustrations and disappointments, it will not be too long before you explode. What we are looking to achieve is basically a state where we can come to terms with the things that make us angry and react without hurting others or ourselves ; in other words, an emotional equilibrium.

Becoming aware of what has caused our secondary emotion of anger to come to surface, can often times help us determine the underlying primary emotions that we have for years suppressed or ignored.  Realize, once those primary emotions are honored and resolved, then we can finally lay to rest the anger responses. A licensed mental health professional can allow you to explore those primary emotions and guide you to decreasing their impact on your daily life.

For more information on Anger Management Courses in the North Texas Region please visit UleadUlearn Anger Management Course Offerings.



By | 2017-07-25T18:47:49+00:00 July 25th, 2017|Anger Management|0 Comments

About the Author:

Dr. Dean Aslinia is a Licensed Mental Health Expert and University Professor. He holds a license as a Professional Counselor-Supervisor and a National Certified Counselor in the State of Texas. Dr. Dean’s educational background includes a bachelor’s and master’s degree in Psychology from the University of Houston, and a second master’s and doctoral degree from Texas A&M University-Commerce. Over the past decade, Dr. Dean has been engaged in professional trainings, clinical mental health practice, graduate higher education teaching, research, writing, and advocacy for greater mental health access for all Americans. In 2011 he co-found and created New Horizons Center for Healing in north Dallas-Fort Worth Metropolitan area. The clinic over a five-year span grew and became the most comprehensive mental health clinic in the State of Texas. Housing more than 30 licensed mental health professionals, ranging from adult, child, and addiction psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, licensed professional counselors, marriage and family therapists, and chemical dependency counselors, AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors, and Therapists) certified sex therapists, play therapists, and eating disorder specialists. His peers in the profession consider Dr. Dean a leader, as he is the Past-President of the Texas Association of Marriage and Family Counselors, a member of the Texas Counseling Association’s Governance Council, and currently serves on the Texas Counseling Association’s Executive Board. He was also appointed by the Collin County (North DFW) Commissioner’s Court to serve on the Collin County Local Behavioral Health Authority (MHMR) Life Path System’s Board of Trustees. He has also on several occasions, testified in front of the Texas House and Senate Health and Human Services Committees as well as the Texas Health and Human Services Commission for advocacy of mental health related bills. Dr. Dean’s passion, strong leadership, and desire to create a greater social interest with his work has led him to creating Ulead Ulearn Professional Training Company, to provide companies, universities, schools, and organizations with a better understanding of the impact of behavioral and emotional health in their environment. Furthermore, helping companies achieve their goals by fully understanding their work-force, and addressing their concerns. Dr. Dean is an engaging, fun, inspirational, and high energy speaker with expertise in business and leadership development, relational health and communication, team building and trust, mental health legal and ethical compliance, emotional intelligence, workplace environment, and anger and conflict resolution. Dr. Dean has researched and taught on topics that hold individuals, employees, and executives from producing at their ultimate capacity. He in a concise, clear, and highly motivational delivery method communicates and delivers his message to his audience and calls for them to begin to take action on their lives. Media & Press Requests Please Email: [email protected]

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